Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Feels Good To Be Back

I’ve come to find out that writing is a lot like going to the gym. No one really likes to go to the gym, no one really likes lifting weights or running in place for an hour. It’s the feeling of accomplishment once the last rep of the last set is complete. Well, I think writing is the same.

Staring at a blank page can be a bit like looking at your “workout clothes,” all folded in a nice, neat pile. Do you really want to get them all wrinkly, all sweaty? They look so peaceful…

All I can think is, "do I really want to mess up that nice clean cut looking 8”x 11” piece of paper?" You’re damn right I do! I took some time from something that I should not have, something I missed and unfortunately something that gets harder to do, the longer you stay away from it.

I’ve had some pretty big changes over the last 30 days. (We’ll just call my time off, a mini-sabbatical) By far, the biggest, life changing, are-you-serious difference from now and just a few weeks ago is my professional future. After months and months of trying to find my “calling” or less dramatic, my happiness, I came to one conclusion.

I would have to, if I truly wanted to live with no regrets, make a huge decision. The weeks grew longer only because the days seemed to never end and I became someone that was not me. Leading up to the actual day when it all made sense, my mind would go back and forth at a record pace, trying to make sure I was going to make the right decision. Those were the hardest days, when hour by hour I was going in different directions.

I wish I could say there was a moment of clarity, a moment that only a Disney Movie or Made for TV Movie could capture when it all made sense…But there wasn’t. Now, don’t me wrong when it comes down to it, it was an easy decision. I have to do what’s going to make me happy, I have to take a chance, I have to see what I can do.

So I did. I’ve given my notice at my job, the same job I’ve seen success at over the past two years. I’ve given my notice to more than that though. I’ve given my notice to all security, stability, and routine.

Those might not be the sexiest words in the English language (actually they sound like words used in one of those commercials for a motorize scooter) but they sure are scary. But I once read something that said you should write down the top 5 things you’re afraid of and make it your To-Do List!

So, with of my fear of a ménage trios involving two Brazilian beauties and being extremely well off, I think I’ve got a nice well rounded To-Do List!

Thanks for listening

2 comments:

  1. :) Carpe Diem! I hope your new direction as exciting as it is scary!

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