Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Mental or Mattel?

My post yesterday must have rung loudly with the sounds of loneliness or desperation much louder than I thought it did because it was like a game show all afternoon trying to find yours truly a special little lady. I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m all for a little help, I’d be a fool not to.

I did have an interesting thought on my way to work. It may be a little too much “A Brave New World” and definitely a little too much adolescent fun, but I’ve got an idea. What if dating and finding the one that sets your heart on fire was like play Mr. Potato Head, or Ms. Potato Head in my case?

I mean outside of her round figure that I’m sure a couple a sessions of cardio a week could help transform, I think it’s one hell of an idea. I have spoken in a past post about the little oddities and blemishes that we usually overtly overlook because the person they belong to is that great. Well forget that with this new means of dating. Good bye, good bye and hello you sexy spud!

But what an idea? Her eyes aren’t exactly what I’m looking for and I think those frames a bit outdated. No problem, I’ll just go into my small plastic box of parts and see what we can find. After finding a pair of beautiful blue eyes and opting for her to get lasic I ditch the frames…

Ok, this does sound a little creepy, a bit weird science, I know. I’m just saying that wouldn’t it be fun? I know I have had past girlfriends as well as girls who are friends that I would love to have as parts in my plastic box. If I could grab the heart of my first girlfriend, way back in 8th grade who I’m still very close with to this day, I’d do it without even thinking. Then I’d move on to the intelligence and ability to adapt to any situation from Five Stars to Dive Bars the my best girl friend in college had and still has to this day…

Hell, I haven’t even gotten to the body and lord knows that could take more time, space, adjectives, and a lot more thought. I know this is unrealistic, but in a way isn’t this what we do while we date? Isn’t dating like a big experiment or a big process of elimination? We move from one person to the next, finding what we like and what we don’t like only hoping that our conclusion is a mix of the good, a dab of the bad, and just feels right…

Alright now that I’ve played Dr. Frankenstein and Dr. Phil in matter of paragraphs I better quit while I’m ‘Potato Head.’

Thanks for listening


  1. Hey so maybe it wasn't such a good idea for me to check out your blog because I'm kind of addicted now! You remind me of a male Carrie Bradshaw. (Sorry for the comparison) But seriously....good stuff. The potato head thing- genius! Talk to ya later.

  2. Not need apologize for the Carrie comparison, none at all...Keep coming back, tell your friends, and then tell you friends to tell their friends...

  3. I too made a serious comparison to Carrie! I could even hear the jingle in my head! So "the heart of your first girlfriend", what about the brains and the beauty? You know you would take way more than just the "heart"!

  4. Alright ladies, that's enough. He is NOT Carrie. Damn it JSG, I don't monitor your blog for a couple of days and this turn into a dating column?!?

    Seriously though, great post. I've often equated dating to the NFL Draft. Sometimes you take the best availble athlete, sometimes you draft for need, and other times you trade down to get more picks so you can have a deeper bench - so to speak.

    Drive fast and take chances.