The Griswold's Easter Vacation

Sorry about the delay in the Holiday wrap up. I was up at 4am yesterday morning to catch an early morning flight back to NYC from my parents place down in Boca Vista. Well that’s not true, they’re not living in Boca Vista quite yet.

The weekend actually started late Thursday afternoon as my dad picked me up from the airport. He has for as long as I can remember driven Crown Victoria’s. If your not to familiar with this model, think ‘squad car’ from any TV police drama. But this captain is trading in this cruiser for a new ship, a Nissan Quest was now his means of transportation. It’s a bit soccer mom for my taste but it’s got every bell and whistle you could imagine. The interior looks like it was designed by the people from The Container Store, little compartments everywhere…

We met my mom and younger brother at a great place on the water for dinner. The weather was just damn near perfect! The sun on your face while drinking a Corona with your family in movie set like weather…does it get much better than that? We ordered some drinks and some appetizers to get the evening started but didn’t even look at entrees for another 30 minutes. I think that’s the difference between just eating dinner and truly enjoying the company of the people sitting around you! All told dinner was a few hours long and probably a few hundred dollars, but I was with the family and didn’t want to be anywhere else.

Now Friday, Friday morning no less, was when the real madness started. I came down stairs around 9, grabbed a cup of coffee and joined my parents in the living room while they read the paper. The get the local Boca Vista paper that reads from cover to cover in about 3.5 minutes as well as the NY Times delivered everyday. After reading a just a few sections I hopped in the shower and heading to my dad’s office for a conference call of all things. It was the one work related thing I would have to think about for the next few days so I didn’t mind.

So as I’m sitting in my dad’s office, head set on, listening and chiming in when necessary with everyone on the call, I hear a ruckus come from the living room. I hear my brother yell, then a few minutes later my mom starts showing off her reach of her voice too. I started to get up to see why in the hell they’ve waited until I was on a work related call to show off their craziness but it soon stopped. As the phone call seemed to be wrapping up I started to hear the weird noises from the rest of the house again, only now my dad was in the mix too. At this point it wasn’t just screams but bangs, booms, and everything in between.

I opened the door to the office and shot my dirtiest look towards my mom and brother who were lucky enough to be the only two in my direct sight! The roar was over for a minute and I was back in the office only to hear it back again just a few minutes later. Thankfully, only seconds later everyone on the call said their good byes and I could now go play Perry Mason in the rest of the house.

So as the story goes, my brother who had just recently woke up was sitting on the couch, watching TV as a bird strolled across the tile floor directly in front of him. He, not sure if he was completely awake yet, got up to see if he was in fact seeing what he thought he was seeing. As he did, this large black crow took off, circling the room with a not a fear in the world. The 22 foot ceilings made this little guy seem like he was as home. Thankfully, a combination of my mom swinging a broom, my brother opening up every window in the house and my dad barking orders the crow flew to its freedom though an upstairs window. Although not before my dad yelled, “holy shit, there’s bird shit on the wall!” That’s right just another relaxing day in Boca Vista!

More to come soon, I promise!

Thanks for listening.

Run Of The Mill Tuesday Night

After darting out of the office around 4pm for yet another network party with one of my favorite coworkers, I just knew it was going to be a good night. After all, good nights start by getting out of the office early, right? Last night’s festivities were held at the Theatre at Madison Square Garden. There were men and women of all seniority levels, blue haired businessmen in double breasted suits to still wet behind the ear entry level post college grads. I think it’s that dynamic that makes these events so worth while. Well, that and the open bar!

After a small cocktail hour and an army of banquet servers carrying everything that is mini around asking every passer by if they’d like a ‘crab stuffed red pepper’ it was time for the presentation. Crowds of people started filing into the theatre, some with drinks, some with notepads, and 4 with crutches. (Seriously, 4 people with crutches, I thought I was at a ski lodge).

Unfortunately, I had to depart this event a little earlier than I would have like to. After all, tonight was double booked…That never happens. I had to get my butt downtown to see friends of mine at a charity event. As I made my way out of the theatre I noticed crowds, and I mean crowds of people everywhere. As it was just a few minutes before 7pm, the crowds were trying to get in as I was trying to get out. The exit of the theatre was located directly next to the entreance into the Arena at Madison Square Gardens. The New York Rangers were getting ready to drop the puck. So as I noticed I was already going to be few minutes late and there were a million foam fingers in my way I just put my head down and started to body check anyone who got in my way!

After frantically walking down 7th avenue I was excited to see my friends as I hadn’t seen a few of them in what seemed like, and probably had been months. It was still light out and just enough of a breeze to keep me from not sweating through my suit. I was told there would be a large number of single ladies at the event so dripping wet was not really the look I was going for tonight!

I found the place pretty easily, my roommate waiting outside for me. We walked in, paid our $40 for the two hour open bar and started searching for my friends. Well, we went to the bar first as we had already lost 13 minutes of open bar time. I saw a girlfriend of mine and the others strolled in a few minutes later.

One of the few things I don’t like about my baby, New York City is that it’s so big and so fast moving that it seems nearly impossible to ever see your good friends. You really have to make the effort, set plans, and carry them out in order to see the people you really want to see. And I really wanted to see these people. The best part was that my group of friends was ‘plus one’ tonight. Another girlfriend of mine, who I hadn’t seen in a very long time was visiting and made the trip out.

There’s nothing like seeing those people you never really knew that well, but always had great conversation with…she was one of those. She was in the city on work and looked great…She was in from LA and had only been to the city once before so it was great to sit around and talk about how different the two superpowers of the country are…God knows you could have the discussion all night long and we just about did! By the time our “discussion” was over I think the final score was LAX 6 – JFK 3,459. A close match for sure!

Thanks for listening

Ripped: The Sequel

That’s right I went back for more. Even though it took me three days, post class, to be able to handle most menial tasks like washing my hair or tying my shoes, I wanted more…

As most people will admit the toughest part about going to the gym is, going to the gym. Once you’ve got your clothes on, your motivation starts to rise…The self portrait in your mind starts to take the form you wish it appeared outside of your mind. Now that spring has landed in the city, it makes the days so much longer and more enjoyable. No longer is the sun done for the day at 5pm.

The sun still shining bright after leaving work at 7pm just helps keep that butt off the couch. Not to mention it’s those same long days that remind us that this brisk cool air will soon be replaced by the warmth, humidity, and The Hamptons (So I hear) that make up a summer in New York City.

As I walked into the studio, I acted as if I had done it a million times before. Should there be ‘Ripped’ virgins (Oh, that doesn’t sound very pleasant) in the class, I wasn’t going to let them know I wasn’t a pro. After all, my muscles had stopped twitching and my walk had become normal again since last week’s class.

As I scoped out my classmates and found my little spot that would soon turn into a sweaty hell, I noticed no knock outs. Which was a good thing, because that’s exactly what would happen to me if there were, there are mirrors everywhere…Even though it wasn’t the best looking class I did notice something different from the previous week. Another dude!

Who was this guy and why was he in my class? There goes the chance of me taking the weights down a notch from week one. This would be like that terrible show on the ESPN, ‘Worlds Strongest Man’ competition. A duel! And just as I suspected, like some stupid jungle animal I would grunt, moan, and elevate my chest to its fullest throughout the class.

The one and only familiar face was that of the, once again, tightly clothed, sports bra wearing, cute little jacket around her waist, positive minded, fist pumping instructor. Her count downs were long and drawn out and often times out of order. After starting at 15, counting down, how does she always seem to end up at 20? She lifts as we do, but she smiles and yells at the same time. I can only think “is this woman fucking sick? What’s wrong with her? Does she like actually enjoy this feeling?” I’m ready to jump out the one opened window.

But much like the first class I made it through and I am almost unable to type this post. With that being said, I’m going to try and continue this healthy streak and have a banana for breakfast. (But I really want a muffin, AKA cake you can eat for breakfast).

Thanks for listening

Living La Vita Loco

In a weekend that would have most hanging from the rafters and screaming in pure enjoyment because of unsafe levels of craziness and enjoyment I will give you brief recap. However, before
I do I have to say this is the kind of Spring Break-like weekend MTV turns into a reality TV show. Now, if you don’t think you have the stomach to read the debauchery I urge you to stop reading now because there is really no turning back.

So in no particular order here are the events that made up my weekend:

*A rainy, chilly Saturday with the 5 hours of coverage from the Master’s in Augusta, GA.
*A bank that is open on Sunday where I exchange $63.27 in change, free of charge.
*A new Italian place that opened on my corner that I have yet to try.
*The Cubs won the game of the week against their all time rival, the St. Louis Cardinals on Sunday Night.
*Scoring a 10 point round in a mean game of ‘Scategories’ Saturday Night.
*Being a member of the dominating force that was the guy’s team in a vicious game of Taboo Saturday Night.


Well as you can clearly see, it was one hell of a weekend. What can I say? We all need a weekend like this every once in a while.

I have a busy week that should lend itself to plenty of material.

Thanks for listening

Out On A School Night

Last night’s festivities were at a lovely place located in the heart of the Flatiron District. This fine establishment’s name was Porky’s. Yep, that’s right, Porky’s! The reason behind the drinks, as if there needs to be one, was a going away party for someone I just recently had the chance to meet. I was with a large group of people from work, who I just started interacting with. Funny enough they're the “Interactive” department of my agency…

The crowd was full of agency people and sales people alike. These functions lend themselves to be like business card highways…Zipping from one hand to the next. After speaking with a few different salespeople (That’s PC because there are just a many woman making a living hittin’ the pavement as men in this industry) I was introduced to a beautiful young woman. She looked to be in her mid twenty’s. She was about my height, maybe a bit taller, which by no means makes her a giant, trust me…She had straight, light brown hair cut to just below her jaw line. She carried herself very well, joking, smiling, and able to a bounce from shop-talk to normal talk.

We started our conversation as a group of people all conversing. But as we continued to chat, we became the only two on the dance floor (figuratively speaking of course). There was some physical contact, some touching of the hands and arms has stories passed between the two of us.

As if she being beautiful and having just the type of look I love wasn't enough, she was English too. That accent will gets me every time. We chatted about differences from her spot across the pond and her new residence here in the states. In my head, “this is great, she’s great, Gitty-Up!"

As we bounced form one subject to the next, she said it…I hated to hear it, I tried to block it out entirely. I tried to just skip over the millisecond in time. With that accent that I love so much she said, “Yes my boyfriend…” Now, I don’t know what came after that only because the word boyfriend was not prefaced by “ex.” It could have been “my boyfriend was hit by a train” or it could have been “my boyfriend just cured cancer,” I don’t know…What I do know is this always seems to happen to me. It’s like seeing a great jacket, trying it on, it looks great, you’ve turned to the left, you’ve turn to the right, and then all of the sudden it has a boyfriend…

Once I tuned back into what exactly she was saying about this lucky lad, she went on to mention that he was actually getting ready to cross the pond in this direction as well. “Isn’t that lovely,” I thought to myself. “Oh so lovely for this bloke!”

We continued to talk for a bit longer but things wound down and so did our drinks so we departed off into different directions. As the night went on, we exchanged a couple of glances across the room but that was about it. Before I left, I was sure to go back to say good bye, plant a kiss on the cheek while holding her wrist, “have a great weekend, hope to see you soon.” And with that I was off for the evening…well to another bar that is…

The question I ask you my readers is this: Should I have continued to talk, flirt, and show interest. Or did I play it correctly by staying in sight, a safe distance away. I respect relationships, and am not the type to actively pursue something that is off the market. (wow, that sounded really sexist, but you get what I’m trying to say) Let me know what you think…

Thanks for listening

Weather Permitting

So it’s official, Mother Nature is Schizophrenic! She’s got more personalities than Helen Keller has bruises on her shins. I have never in my 24 years on this planet witnessed a day like yesterday. Talk about all over the place. I wore suit, no tie, yesterday to work because of a client meeting and right before I said good bye to Matt and Katie, I checked with Al to see what the weather was like outside. “37 degrees, are you kidding me, it’s fucking April!”

Nevertheless, I grabbed my overcoat and headed out the door. I did however leave behind my scarf and gloves in very docile form of protest to the morning’s conditions. Once I made my way up Third Avenue, I noticed it was already warming up and that most people seemed to be far less layered than myself. “So I’m the asshole, who’s over dressed and not willing to let go of winter huh?” I could see it in the eyes of each passing body. The sun was shining and it actually looked and started to feel like a spring day in the city.

However, right before a late morning meeting someone pointed out that it looked like it was snowing outside. “What?” I sprang out of my chair and did everything short of press my nose against the glass, ala ‘that doggie in the window’ style. And I’ll be damned if it wasn’t snowing, big chunks of snow, the kind you see in the dead of winter, certainly not after the start of baseball season. I though to myself, “so who’s the asshole know, huh.”

That meeting was immediately followed by lunch with the client. To her request we headed to an Indian (Dot, not feather) restaurant near our office. This made me a little nervous as I have never really eaten Indian food due to the spiciness of what I’ve heard is every single dish. I’m a wuss, big time, when it comes to food with a kick. But what was I to do, she really wanted to go. “Sure, that sounds great, I love Indian food” I said as we headed for the lobby of our building.

Through the revolving doors and into what was now a steady drizzle. The client and another woman I was with were both well equipped, umbrellas in hand. Yours truly was not, not only did I not have an umbrella, I didn’t think I needed my overcoat because the snow had stopped, so of course I didn’t grab it. “I can’t catch a break today!”

Luckily the spicy spot was very close to our office and I managed to stay semi-dry. The place was nice, white table cloths, linen napkins so I figured I would be ok. Then I noticed it was a buffet. An Indian buffet? This was not such a good thing because even though each item while lying in a large stainless steel, heated dish, had a name plate in front of it, I could not pronounce let alone identify anything.

I followed our client as she took a little of this, and some of that…I just tried to do exactly as she did. I wasn’t going to take any chances. I’ve seen “Forget Polly” and what that was like for Ben Stiller’s character. I started with small bites, cautiously dipping meats into colorful sauces. Not bad, not bad at all.

We had to eat quickly, which was fine by me because as the server dropped the check, I felt a rumble and grumble from down under. “Well, are we all set?” I asked the table as to say, “we gotta get the hell out of here now kids, this place is gonna blow!” I don’t know if it was the chicken, the beef, or the insane amount of curry, but you can bet yours truly was in a hurry to get back to the office.

The weird weather occurrence on the way home was the strangest of them all. These large, although light looking pieces of snow just started cascading down from the sky. We couldn’t tell if they were coming off the tops of buildings or what, but they just kept coming, one after another. And here I am, the asshole again without an umbrella.

The rest of the day flew by and so did the bad weather. By the time it was time to call it a day, the sun was shining, still a bit cool, but nice as can be, and still overcoat weather. That Mother Nature sure is one crazy bitch!

Thanks for listening

Class is in Session

Sorry for the late and what will surely be a brief post. Not that I don’t have brilliant, creative ideas flying through my head…it’s more like my body that’s the problem. As I noticed that spring time was going to have summer on its linen coattails, I hit up the gym Monday night. Not only did I hit it up, I managed to muster up enough motivation to fight through dime sized rain drops to get there.

In a mental trick pulled on yours truly, by yours truly I said that I was only going to go if there was a class I could take that started at 7:30. Well of course, after grabbing the class schedule off the refrigerator I knew it was meant to be. Once I arrived at the house of pain, I made my way to studio 2 to participate in “Ripped.” After all, who doesn’t want to be “Ripped?”

As the previous class started to filter out, my future classmates started to walk in and get set up. I say set up, because it seemed as though every other person in the class was a veteran of “Ripped.” They were all setting up shop in their own little area. They each grabbed a few sets of dumbbells, a straight bar and a “step.” So of course, I started to do the same. After all, I didn’t want everyone to know I was the “new kid.” Although that would surely become crystal clear as the high paced, heart pumping music started.

Our instructor was, as I’m sure most are, a very toned, perky, woman dressed in all stretchy cloths. We started jogging in place and then around the room in a circle. It looked like an adult version of Duck, Duck, Goose. While almost at the point of dizziness I noticed that I was in fact the only guy in the entire class. I was the only one not wearing a sports bra, I was sure of that…

No worries though, I’m in decent shape. It’s only been a few weeks since my last trip to the house that Hanz and Franz built. And after all, the heaviest dumbbells in the room were mine, at a robust 10lbs a piece. There was more jogging, following by some curling, and then some more jogging and some more curling. I think you get the point.

The sweat was pouring off my face and I could only at this point try to figure out how or why these weights that were clearly marked 10lbs weighted at least 1000lbs. The instructor was again, cheerful and positive as she counted off…10, 9, 8, 8, 8…”wait a minute, she’s been on 8 for like 10 minutes now. Is she trying to kill me?”

That muscle pain in my arms and chest was only soon replaced by the pain in my ass and legs. In what was a compromising position for all, especially me being the only guy in the class. We were down on all fours, lifting one leg at a time, almost like dog would pee on a fire hydrant. The leg would go up and then out, and then back as there was only the sound of yet another 10 count that seemed to last an eternity bellowing through the studio. As there were women all around and even more mirrors, I made sure I kept my nose to the mat during these drills. After all, I don’t want to be the creepy guy in “Ripped” who stares.

Two days later I don’t know if I’m “Ripped” but it certainly feels like something’s torn…I think it’s my rotator cuff.

Thanks for listening