I just can’t figure it out. See, the thing is there’s this girl. This girl, we’ll call her Jersey, (due in large part because that is where she lives) is driving me B-a-n-a-n-a-s. I think I have a pretty good idea about the female psyche; that is unless it pertains to me in some way shape or form. I’m like that workout instructor that makes his living shaping his client’s bodies, but at the same time is completely out-of-shape himself. I may know how to dish out the best routine for a successful relationship or meeting, but I sure don’t see the same results when it comes to my love life.
I met this girl about a month ago at a bar. Third and Long no less, the bar I mentioned in the last posting. It was a Friday night and I was there with a buddy of mine. We cruised in around 6, right after work and stayed for a few hours. The night was going pretty well considering I hadn’t paid for a drink all night. But, I’d be lying if I said it was because of my daunting good looks and million dollar smile. I simply forgot my wallet at home. So, not only did I not have any actual US dollars, I didn’t even have a way to access single monitory note. Nothing!
But for the few hours we were there, this wasn’t a big problem as my buddy was gracious enough to buy my drinks. As the bar started to fill out, and the changing of the crowds started (That’s when all the people who have come straight from work start to stagger and stumble out of the bar, the same time people who went straight home after work and are now in the process of “going out” change places) we were looking to wrap up the evening. However, right before we started to make our final decent, a twosome of beautiful girls walked into the bar. They looked around, sized the place up and chatted between themselves. I didn’t look too impressed by the establishment or the gentlemen in it.
My buddy and I said good bye to our bartender who had been throwing his two cents and witty banter all night long as he was working the door that night. Heading down 35th street towards the diner, I stopped in my tracks and said “sorry man, I got to go see about a girl” (what movie is that line from?) and I turned around and headed back to the bar.
My plan of attach was simple, walk up, be witty but not over the top, offer to buy the lovely ladies a beverage and it would be smooth sailing from there on out. But as I mentioned earlier I have not a dollar to my name. This poses a big problem. So, after looking for any shiny object around the bar I may be able to use to barter or trade for beer, I came to my senses. Borrow money from the door guy, my usual bartender. He would certainly be my financial backing on such a promising endeavor. As a suspected, he fronted me the cash and off I went…
The plan worked beautifully, there was banter, laughter, and some charm, some cleavage, and some glimmering hope that this could work out for yours truly. I ended up spending 20 minutes or about one Miller Lite with the two lovely ladies before they departed. Don’t worry though I did get her number. Now to find out about how the first date went and why she has now taken my confusion level off the charts, you’ll have check back tomorrow for part two.
Thanks for listening