True Religion, I say no but they keep givin' -Fergie

Yesterday was an ugly day in the city.  There was a constant drizzle of rain as if the big man upstairs just couldn’t make up his mind.  The wind would pick up and make the rain come in right at your face and then moments later it was nothing but a cool mist.  Weather like this deems a perfect movie day or maybe a big chair at some corporate coffee house couple with a good book.  However, I will let know I did neither of these perfect fittings.  Apparently I thought it would be a wonderful day to run errands on the west side and head south to SOHO to run more errands.  Great Idea right?

After taking the subway down town and walking west all the while dodging rain drops at the same time, I needed to make a couple of returns. (gifts that just didn’t quite work out)  While walking down 6th Ave I found myself, like a lot of New Yorkers on a daily basis, I under scaffolding and noticed a small table with a few people checking out the merchandise.  The merchandise in this particular case happen to be Jeans.  Now, I’m not talking about your dad’s Levi 501’s, I’m talking about brand new, designer jeans that would normally cost anywhere from $185 to $250, all listed here for between $60 and $80.  I know what you’re thinking, their fake dumbass, they’ll fall apart the first time they’re washed.  

Those types of thoughts may have derailed a potential purchase had I not previously heard about this Jean Guru of sorts.  I have had numerous friends use his services and be very happy with the products as well as the costumer service.  The Jean Guy for instance will allow you to bring the jeans back if they don’t fit.  This makes sense and seems like it would be an often occurrence seeing as though there isn’t a dressing from underneath this scaffolding on 6th Ave in between 15th and 16th street.

His selection for guy’s jeans was far less then his for women’s, which I guess is to be expected.  However, that didn’t stop me from pulling the trigger and picking up a pair.   I decided on a pair of Antik Denim.  They’d usually sell for about $225 in most retail shops.  The trick now is where am I going to try these freshly purchased jeans on?  It’s raining and the NYPD usually frowns on public undressing so I’m was running low on ideas.  Until, I decided  like any normal customer buying clothing would just try them on in a dressing room.  I saw that there was a Kenneth Cole about two blocks up and decided that would be the location of my designated dressing room.  So I cruised in, looked around a bit, grabbed a pair of pants, asked where the dressing room was and made it happen!  

Sadly though, the jeans were not meant to be.  Or my ass was not meant to be as big, the two did not work well together.  So then the stress of, “what if the Jean Guy is a fake and has already packed up shop and I’m going to be 80 bucks in the whole.” I then quickly told the nice sales person that the pants I tried on just didn’t work, but thanks anyway.  Walking towards the site of the gambled purchase I could see (thank God) that the Jean Guy was still there and there was still a small crowd.  I walked up told the Jean Guy they didn’t quite fit and he said “I’m sorry to hear that, I wish I had more men’s pairs.  Here’s your money back.”  Mind you, this all took place over two blocks, twenty minutes, and too big butt cheeks.  You’ve just got to love this town!

As it is Super Bowl Sunday I’m off to the gym to preempt all of the beer, wings, vodka, tonic, burgers, chips, salsa that could take me down some time today.  

Thanks for listening