Question Marks

Why is it that questions that really make us think come at the most unexpected time or from the most unexpected source? I mean, we’re asked hundreds of questions a day: cream or sugar / stay or to go / how’s it going / how’ve you been / what are you doing / where are you going / want to grab a drink / where do you live / what do you do- all of these are rapidly shot at us on a regular basis. It’s just that regular pattern of question marks that makes it amazing that we can some times cut through the static to find a real mind blowing, usually scary question.

I had one of these very sparks shot in my direction just some time last week. Its arrival was smooth even though it was unexpected. (Just like that Jet Blue flight that had an emergency landing a few months ago at LAX) Jersey, the girl who has become quite infamous of late, asked in such a simple way, “Are you really good at your job because you love it, or do you love your job because you’re good at it?”

I should mention at the time we were talking about college, post-college, first jobs, interviewing, making it in the big city, working for the man, etc. I had never heard it put so clearly. I mean I have had that very same thought before, but it was just too perverted in my own head to come to such a clean cut conclusion.

For once in my life, I didn’t have a thing to say, not a single word. My mouth was motionless and my mind had probably never moved so quickly. I didn’t know, I don’t know the answer to the question.

(A little background)

I wasted no time after I graduated to come to New York City. Hell, I passed on Acapulco, Mexico for spring break for a trip to take a small bite out of the apple I so badly wanted to call home. I landed in New York City on June 28th 2004… just 18 days after graduating and only a month before my 23rd birthday. (Why does that sound so young now?) I had a few leads for a job but nothing concrete and I didn’t have an apartment yet either. No job, no apartment, just me happier than I had probably ever been. I was in New York, I was going to live in best city in the world.

After a brief stay at the Milford plaza on the west side of town and few weeks on a futon in Hoboken, NJ I found an apartment. I lied to the existing roommates, telling them I had already secured a job. Oh, I also lied about my age too. I mean who the hell wants to sublet a room to a 22 year old, jobless and still-wet-behind-the-ears kid from Florida. However, only days after landing that place, a place I’m still calling home I landed a job. I hated it first, my boss was a sweet hearted red head who wore clothes older than me and whose idea of technology was a touch tone phone. But I busted my ass and was promoted after only 7 months about 7 head of schedule. The point is, so far in my young professional career I’ve seen success. Another promotion since that one just mentioned, but I still cannot answer Jersey’s question.

I had my improv class last night. There’s a high that comes with doing it. A high I don’t get in my office. (Maybe because my cube’s not big enough to get a cold in) But is this a perfect outlet to keep trucking away at the office or a calling…I don’t know. Maybe that is why I started this blog. Another outlet to balance my ‘grown up’ gig? I still don’t know why I just started writing one night. However, I do know that there’s no fun in knowing all the answers, I guess that’s why I’m having such a good time stumbling over all of the questions right now…

Thanks for listening